Poop, Men, and Other Random Nonsense

Let's start with the poop... I am a nursery leader in my ward. I love these kids and I look forward to seeing them every week. I'm not going to mention names, but this one girl poops her pants every week at the same time. When she does, it stinks up the whole room! I don't know how something so foul smelling can come from such a tiny body. Anyhow, she was pushing kids around as usual so I run over there to pick her up and put her in timeout. Well, I sit her on my lap and immediately I feel something wet on my skirt. I start to internally freak out, put her down, and... Oh Yeah! There it was, the evidence plainly soaked into my skirt. A nice fresh poopy!

Communication. Text messaging has ruined society and I wish it was never invented. I have to text message if I want to talk to someone. People do not answer their phones anymore for fear of talking on the phone. Now, here is where the men fit in. Men, if you are brave enough to ask me for my phone number, you sure as hell should be brave enough to call me and properly ask me out. I wouldn't have given you my number if I didn't want you to use it. If you are afraid of rejection, just know now that I would have turned you down when you asked for my number in the first place.

I have decided to start a diet...yes, again. Not to toot my own horn, but I think I look decent enough, but my goal is to not only look good in my clothes, but out of them. (I am kinda an exhibitionist at heart and love to show off all my womanly assets, hence wanting to look good without clothes.) I am going to be starting the Body For Life diet. I figure, why the hell not? I am going to take before and after pictures, make a chart to track my progress, and reward myself with something really great when I reach my goal! What should I reward myself with??