Thursday, December 17, 2009

"My Best and Only Friend"

This blog post is dedicated to my best and only friend, Leslie. “Best and only friend” is our little term of endearment; we say it to each other every time we talk. It’s something we picked up from the movie, Dick. (Go rent it! It is fabulously funny)

Leslie and I met our first year of college at BYU-Idaho. She had just moved from Houston, TX and I had just moved from Penang, Malaysia. Her parents stuck her in the dorms and my parents stuck me in the dorms. After we were all settled in, we (Me and Les and the other two chicks living with us) decided to go to freshman orientation. All who know me, know that I do not like attending such things and was reluctant to go…well, little did I know Leslie felt the same way. After the first “bonding activity” I looked and Les and said, “Let’s grab some free food and get the hell out of here.” She was more than happy to agree and we ditched. We knew we were kindred spirits since that moment.

Freshman year was by far the most trying point in my life. Not to write a sob story about myself, but it was pretty dramatic for a girl of 18 years. This was my first year of college, a completly forgein event. I was in a state I knew nothing about and I knew no one. My family was 10,000 miles away from me on the other side of the world. We had to schedule phone calls at certain times of the day. This was my first time living on my own…let’s just say, 2005 was the year I HAD to become an adult and it was not easy! You could almost say it felt like a mission? But without the preaching and rules (even though BYU-I had some crazy ass rules!) Leslie was my salvation at that time in my life. If I didn’t have her, I would have moved home after the first semester.

My mom says that Les and I must have known each other and been friends in the pre-existence. We bonded so quickly that there is no other reasonable explanation.

Les and I have agreed that we would make excellent polygamist wives. That’s how well we get along. I firmly believe that women should NOT live together. World Peace would be achieved if women did not live together. Les and I lived together for 2 years and did not fight once. I am confident that we could live together forever and still not argue about anything, even a man. (sorry dudes...)

Having know
n Leslie for almost 5 years now, here is what I have concluded:

Leslie hates wearing high heels, but has tons of them. I think she likes the way they look, how fancy they are, and how dainty/girly they are. But, deep down I know she hates wearing them and I bet half of the heels she has have NEVER been worn. (If we were the same shoe size I
probably would have stolen some of them by now!)

Leslie bites her nails. The nail biting is a nervous habit Les developed during her many years of high school basketball. There are times while observing her viciously attacking her nails that have lead me to believe that she doesn't realize she is doing it.

Leslie does not drink water. She does not like that there is no flavor and refuses to drink just plain water. Leslie's drinks must always be caffeinated or artificially flavored aka Dr. Pepper or Gatorade.

Leslie is the pony tail queen. I have to bribe Les to wear her hair down.

Leslie has a multitude of T-shirts. Leslie’s mom buys Les the cutest clothes, but when it comes time to dress for the day, she reaches for the T-shirts (these are the kind of T-shirts one would work out in, not go on a date in).

Les has a strong testimony of the gospel. I was visiting Les in Idaho one weekend and this happened to be the weekend that the Rexburg Temple was having an open house before it was dedicated. Les, her brother Brad, and I went to one of the tours. Les and I were sitting in one of the sealing rooms overwhelmed by the beauty and sense of peace. Les and I turn to each other and made a promise to one another that we would not settle for anything less than a worthy man who could take us to the temple and be sealed to him for time and all eternity in a room similar to the one we were sitting in. I know that Leslie’s testimony of the gospel (and stubborn nature) will hold me to that promise.

Les and I have had some awesome (and not so awesome) adventures together! Texas adventures, Utah adventures, Wyoming adventures, and Idaho adventures. We have experienced so much that I could probably write a novel...well, at least a short story. I will not divulge that information here because some stuff is too hard to explain without telling hordes of background information and some stuff our parents don’t even know about and will NEVER know about.

Les is the one who I see all my R-rated movies with. We both fell in love with Brad Pitt after seeing Fight Club. We both love expensive jeans from the Buckle (the kinds with all the stuff on the back pockets – this attracts mens' eyes to the butt area!) We love going out to eat. And, we especially love a good looking man!

Leslie has just graduated from BYU-Idaho and is moving back to Texas to attend a grad school program. Even though I know tha
t I will see Leslie again, I can’t help but feel like I am losing my best and only friend. Les is and will be my best friend forever. We will always keep in touch. We will vacation frequently. We will be the two crazy old ladies down the street living together once our husbands die.

I love you Leslie! Good luck

Monday, December 14, 2009

Hawaii on Sunday


Yes people, you heard me correctly! This Sunday, my family and I take off for Hawaii to celebrate Christmas. What better way to spend the holiday? Beaches, lounging, reading, sunshine, and best of all... hot Hawaiian men teaching me how to surf! The feeling of excitement is felt by every member of the household.

I am implementing an exlax and water diet from now until Sunday in order to fit into my teeny bikini that I just ordered on Victoria'sSecret.com. That's right...teeny sexy bikini! He he he :-)

I will not be checking my phone, e-mail, or..................Facebook! (DAH, DAH, DAH) A whole week without phone and Facebook! WTF???? I'm not gonna lie, I'm glad to be ditching electronics!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Poop, Men, and Other Random Nonsense

Let's start with the poop... I am a nursery leader in my ward. I love these kids and I look forward to seeing them every week. I'm not going to mention names, but this one girl poops her pants every week at the same time. When she does, it stinks up the whole room! I don't know how something so foul smelling can come from such a tiny body. Anyhow, she was pushing kids around as usual so I run over there to pick her up and put her in timeout. Well, I sit her on my lap and immediately I feel something wet on my skirt. I start to internally freak out, put her down, and... Oh Yeah! There it was, the evidence plainly soaked into my skirt. A nice fresh poopy!

Communication. Text messaging has ruined society and I wish it was never invented. I have to text message if I want to talk to someone. People do not answer their phones anymore for fear of talking on the phone. Now, here is where the men fit in. Men, if you are brave enough to ask me for my phone number, you sure as hell should be brave enough to call me and properly ask me out. I wouldn't have given you my number if I didn't want you to use it. If you are afraid of rejection, just know now that I would have turned you down when you asked for my number in the first place.

I have decided to start a diet...yes, again. Not to toot my own horn, but I think I look decent enough, but my goal is to not only look good in my clothes, but out of them. (I am kinda an exhibitionist at heart and love to show off all my womanly assets, hence wanting to look good without clothes.) I am going to be starting the Body For Life diet. I figure, why the hell not? I am going to take before and after pictures, make a chart to track my progress, and reward myself with something really great when I reach my goal! What should I reward myself with??

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

ok, fine....

Well, here it is! I have decided to start a blog. I am a little intimidated because I can barely express my feelings and thoughts in person let alone through writing. I am actually excited to try this out even though it is going to be a real challenge for me because everyone knows I am notorious for starting something and never finishing it.

Here is a picture o
f me and my family. My parents Cynthia and Dave, my two sisters Christina and Malaina, and Christina's boyfriend Brandon.

I am a young adult living in Utah valley...also known as single central! And boy is it ever... I have a bone to pick with LDS boys! Dudes, when you text me at 9pm asking me to "hang out" and expect me to drop everything to rush to your side, all so I can be mauled by your horny asses, you are seriously mistaken. You may get away with that with those boy-body girls who go to BYU, but not this girl! Geez... did I get a little carried away? Nope, but I can rant and rave about them later.

I work as a legal secretary and love it. I am planning to start cosmetology school in January and I cannot wait. Just think of the bitching, back biting, and blogging material to come!


I have a passion for clothes, shoes, hair, and makeup. My favorite part of the day is getting ready in the morning. I take a full 2 1/2 hours to get ready! I compare applying makeup to painting a picture... there are dozens of different brushes and colors and when the final project is complete, all is right in the world. This might sound really superficial and totally bimbo-ish... but I don't care. I like to take care of myself, so what?

Anyhow, this is just a little about me and I hope you stay tuned for further entertainment!